Ich bin Kennnn

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Little Norwegian Wonders

Here are some my experiences and observations in Norwegia (NWGA) that I find interesting.
(some of the stuff here are based on a comparative basis with Malaysia's equivalent)

Im the kinkily blindfolded one btw, I blame the temperature

1. -20 deg sounds fun, and it is really fun, for awhile. Probably for 2 minutes or less without proper clothing.

2. Bottled water and soda become rock hard after a few hours in a parked car.

3. Due to the cold, erections are hard to come by and for the most part, the joystick looks sad, oh the irony!


1. Skiing is painfully hard to learn. I gota hert reel badh.

I did a fair bid of skiing and now I've got the hang of it. I can now go fast enough to execute spectacular ski tossing crashes into the slopes. Many a time it felt like my chin and back(exposed cz my jacket gets pushed up) is on fire from scraping the icy slopes during the crashes.

The term " painfully hard" is especially true when you wake up the next day having more blues than B.B. King.

However, that term is also especially entertaining for the people who listen to you try to walk down a flight of wooden stairs while letting out seemingly erotic moans "boom ah, boom ah, boom ah".

2. Snow balls are not as easy to make as it looks on TV and in comics. Infact we never successfully made any snowballs here. So we just throw chunks of ice at each other for novelty.

3. Snow diving is as fun as it looks. Watch out for the almost invisible ice crystals that blanket the top of the fluffy snow though, they bite!

4. Smoking is a challenge when ur trying to get a decent puff while shivering after 2 minutes in the scrotumn crinkling cold.

5. Then there is Snus, a replacement for cigs. Popular in scandinavia, this very special powder-like stuff boasts to be a lot more effective than cigs due to the faster rate your body absorbs the nikotine.

Snus is normally "baked"(shaped) with fingers and tucked under the upper lip and left there between 15 mins to a few hours. First timers will experienece morning sickness right away.

A regular cashier job should land you around RM80 an hour, probably more in big cities. I feel like a stereotypical Indon immigrant hungry for a job (any job) here sometimes.

Then there was the small town kindergarten teacher who earned more than RM6k a month.


What if you retire? wouldn't it cost a bomb to live without working?
no! because medical expenses are well subsidized by the government and u get 60% of wat u used to earn before u retired til death do u part from this financial paradize.

However. be aware of cash traps slily set by the sliest sly people of NWGA.
Ciggies average at RM35 for a pack of 20s, as a result, Norwegianians smoke a lot less regularly in a mildly successful attempt to spend less. Regular boxer prices are tagged at a sexy range of RM100-200 (I've seen RM50 boxers but that was at a super sale).

So as long as u stay away from these very avoidable cash traps, you're on your way to be a smart saving, appartment buying, origin denying, broad grinning immigrant!

1. Houses are mostly made of wood, very cozily decorated. This is especially plausible in such countries because there is extremely little dust indoors. I'm starting to like the clutter, but being a dusty Malaysian it's best to just purchase an Ikea showroom.

2. Toilets are normally separated from the shower, so matches come in xtra handy in small toilets because of the lack of efficient life support(ventilation).

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Food of Norwegia

When we have fish for dinner, we HAVE FISH for dinner. Cz when fish is the dish I eat more fish than the rice I eat back home.

Exhibit A
A well-ravaged salmonbeing, having it's innards nibbled and tongued to tingle the most delighted tastebuds (sarcasm on a certain writing style intended).
After the visit at the salmon procesing factory, we had more salmon, but this time, it was excitingly presented on slices of bread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never thought I'd get to feel glad to not see salmon (lakks) for dinner, but I did after all that fish!

Ever loOOOoOoOoooved the taste of cod liver oil?
I thought so

We tried cod fish meat and it tastes as good as salmon to me. Once again, we ate a lot of cod.

I love COD, will get some with the boys at Tbun asap I hope.
and then there is Ffresh Nen Juice. If u don't know what nen is, go ask the "Chinese fellers".

and on meat days..
*the big square slices u see are roast pork. and u can see the crust, t'was super crunchy!

They had almost no spiciness in their food except for pepper. So we emptied 1 bottle of tabasco in the first 5 days. We had tabasco on everything and they were always entertained by our tabasco splattering ways that resembled the most massive cumshots you've ever seen.
And now for the price comparison.
so when they decided to take 10 of us for McDs, it probably costed more than all the McDs I ever ate in my life.
That plus another 180+kr so it came up to almost 1000kr.

and my weight, which steadily stood at 64.5kg for the past 4 years of my life was level-upped since I got here 2 weeks ago, but the weight u see was achieved in the 1st 4 days here.

oh and I shit 2 times a day now, sometimes 3.

God Jul!!! (merry xmas in norwegianese)

Friday, December 21, 2007

Snow Diving in Norwegia

The view from my room in my 2nd host family's house. We have a total of 4 host families, live with one at a time.

The 3 following pics are
1) Ice crystals formed by the river.
2) Zoomed out on the ice
3) The river
Norwegian water is generally very good to drink. We were quite lucky to live in areas where we got real mineral water from the mountains into our taps. So we drink healthy here, very healthy!
I'm living the dream of a white Christmas, just like the ones I never knew.
took a dive in the shallow end of the cold
did some backstrokes and floated on ice
It was extremely cold and I couldn't feel my limbs for awhile. Ran straight to the fireplace and realized that I gota hert reel bad! well, actually just a few cuts from contact with ice crystals (if thats wat u call it).
Snow diving is truly one of the most nipple gripping experiences I have ever had!
I had to melt the snow off my body by standing right in front of the fireplace.
The following pic is self-explanatory

14 hour bus rides with very talkative people landed us dirty looks from fellow passengers, so I added "thank god we are Singaporeans" to the tail of our topics whenever I could.
These are not the buses we travelled in, we had much bigger and mordern ones with airbags for every seat. But they were frozen so it was a nice picture.
The bus stop during one of our transit

This trip has been very interesting and extremely eye opening. The wonderful people that are caring for us are similar to those in my previous programs and the food is good (though Malaysian food is still the best!), I've more salmon in the first week than I ever had in my entire life!
This would be my third and final Youth Exchange Program since I'm 21 and it's the upper age limit. I have learnt that there is so much more to life than the petty things many people revolve their entire lives around.
The difference between people who have it all, and the people who try ever so hard to prove to everyone else that they do (when they actually don't at all), have become very apparent to me. Like porno replacing real sex, superficial spice is just a sad compensation for the truly good stuff ;)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

IRIS, the winter clothing line

Tis apparrent! I will continue keeping an eye out ;)

Notes of Norwegia

Norway isn't just ab√łut salmon and snow!

it's about millionaire nurses and very expensive boxers(+-130RM for yer average pair, or maybe I went to the wrong shop?)!

It's a new keyboard system and the OS isn't in English so if u dislike my cincainess, eat mee.

since I might not be able to reply any comments anytime soon, I've cleverly predicted some questions that you might have in mind and will answer them with more clarity than the fresh spring water that I've been drinking.

ok so just to prove I was there here's one by a river


and then me climbing a slope with skis


boots from everybody's all time favorite footwear brand! (only 240RM/pair)


and then I got emotional when I met Santa and basked in childhood glory.

I'll blog again when the time is right and line is tight.

Time: 12am NOR

Temp: -17 deg c

God Jule!!! (merry xmas)